Can People In A Relationship Still Have Good Friends Of The Opposite Sex?

Posted by Bars And Nightclubs on 12/7/16.

Here is one of those tricky questions that can cause arguments in relationships and friendships: can people who are in a relationship still have one or more good friends of the opposite sex? I mean, most people would say why not, but that answer tends to blur once you’re actually in a relationship and have to deal with your boyfriend hanging out with his girl mates (or vice versa).

You suddenly feel your stomach churning with all sorts of emotions: jealousy, resentment, worry, fear, suspicion, guilt, etc., because you might be trying to be that cool girlfriend/boyfriend who is laidback and gives their partner space and freedom, but you can’t help but think of the possibilities. What if he/she is tempted to cheat? What if their friend is flirting with them instead? What if they’re out and they get really drunk and something happens? How would you know?

These questions reverberate throughout most people’s minds, and some people give into them and start restricting their partner’s friendships. They push aside the guilt over their actions by justifying it for the sake of their relationship. After all, it’s the most important thing in their lives, so they’ve got to do everything they can to maintain it, even if the measures are a little drastic and irrational.

But as most of you would know, that causes other issues. First of all, the person calling the shots will most likely be resented by their partner, especially when their partner’s friends and family are in their ear about ditching them. Also, most people don’t like to be controlled or restricted, and that’s part of the reason why some people fear commitment these days. Initially they might not even realise how much they’re ignoring their friends and family for their partner until they end up feeling isolated from the world completely, which can be a very alienating experience.

So how do you avoid that feeling of loneliness when you realise that you’ve got nobody else but your partner in your life? You have to make sure to establish trust and faith in the relationship. Some jealousy is expected in the early days of a blooming relationship, and of course the first six month ‘honeymoon period’ of a relationship is very consuming, where your partner is the centre of your existence and you most likely end up neglecting your friends and family.

But in the end, you both can’t live in that lovey dovey bubble forever, because eventually you’re both going to realise that you have separate lives outside of your relationship, ones that include your family and friends. The key is to maintain a steady level of communication and build your trust for one another over time, because that’s what relationships are all about. This includes trusting your partner to be faithful to you no matter who he/she is hanging out with and wherever they may be at. After all, what is a real relationship without trust?

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5 Songs That Define How Women Feel About Men

Posted by Bars And Nightclubs on 30/6/16.

Hans Christian Anderson had once quoted ‘when words fail, music speaks’, which can relate to the idea that women often express their thoughts and emotions through their music, or perhaps men might write lyrics about them instead. Either way, most women are quite complex and multifaceted in their own way, so it can take time and effort to fully understand their perspectives. When you add men to the mix, things tend to get a whole lot more complicated, so here are five songs that roughly summarise the way women perceive the male species.

1. ‘No Scrubs’ – TLC 

‘I don’t want your number (no), I don’t want to give you mine and (no), I don’t want to meet you nowhere (no), I don’t want none of your time and (no).’

These lyrics pretty much summarise the last thing we ladies want, which is to be continuously stalked by a scrub, aka ‘a guy that thinks he’s fly’. Like, honestly now, if we’ve already told you we’re not interested or that we’re taken, do not keep persisting and bombarding us with 21 questions because that stage five clinginess is a real put off. Time for you to start stalking your next prey.

2. ‘What Do You Mean’ – Justin Bieber 

Most of us know how much women tend to overthink and question things, even if they’re the simplest gestures. While most guys will interpret things as they appear at the surface, women will usually dig much deeper and exaggerate things out of proportion and make drastic assumptions without stopping to look at the bigger picture.

For example: ‘What do you mean? When you nod your head yes but you wanna say no?’ (What if he generally agrees?!) or when ‘you don’t want me to leave but you tell me to go’, (hate to break it to you, but maybe he does want you to go? The poor guy might be exhausted and have an early start at work the next day…we’ll just leave it at that.)

3. ‘I Hate You, I Love You’ – Gnash ft Olivia 

Girl, please make up your mind!! You can’t hate him and then love him and then hate that you love him, unless you have very abrupt mood swings. It’s all too much for anyone to bear, so I say it’s time to drop all those conflicting emotions and try to move on; you can love somebody else eventually if you’re just open to it.

4. ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ – Cyndi Lauper 

An oldie but a goodie, this song applies specially to those women who are single and want to party and hook up with random guys. In today’s generation, more and more women have a fierce will to be independent and strong-minded over their beliefs, right? As Cyndi sings, ‘some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world, I want to be the one to walk in the sun.’ Points to feminism on this one, after all – girls really just wanna have fun.

5. ‘Hold Up’ – Beyoncé 

‘Hold up, they don’t love you like I love you, slow down, they don’t love you like I do.’

These lyrics pretty much define most women who are either in a relationship or are downright lovesick and obsessed with somebody. Their love is unconditional so don’t test it or ignore it, or else as Queen Bey says, ‘I’mma fuck me up a bitch’, even if it risks her ‘lookin’ jealous or crazy’, so don’t mess with her.

Is The Three-Day Texting Rule Effective?

Posted by Bars And Nightclubs on 11/4/16.

There is a dilemma that most of us come across when we manage to score a guy/girl at a nightclub, bar or anywhere really: do we text them straight away after we get their number, or do we wait until the next day? Or should we go by the three-day rule, which basically means that you have to wait three days before texting them so that you don’t look too desperate? I mean, we don’t want to appear too keen right? Some people get put off by overly keen guys/girls since they may wreak too much of desperation.

But then again, what if he/she loses interest by the time we muster up the courage to text them after three days? The internal struggle is real, and it doesn’t end here: should the guy make the effort to text first? Or is that a sexist idea that should be disregarded in this modern age where feminists rule now? Yeah I know, there are way too many questions and not enough answers here – but this is a normal overthinking habit for most people, so I’m going to try and simplify things for all of you out there with this dilemma.

Most people tend to over-complicate things way too much when they’re trying to impress someone. Whether you’re the sort of person to either play it cool by taking your time or you prefer to just bite the bullet, you’ve got to remember that the other person is most likely thinking the exact same thing as you. They’re most likely just as worried about making the right impression as you are.

So if you’re going to wait three days to text somebody, you could be implying that you’re either not interested and that person is a last minute resort (because you didn’t score anybody else in that period of time), or you may project the opposite notion: you’ve been thinking about them for three days straight but have decided to agonisingly drag out the waiting period so that you don’t look like you’re obsessed with them at all. (Wow, that’s some self-restraint you’ve got there!)

There’s this preconceived rule that the guy is supposed to text first if he’s interested, and you’re supposed to wait three days for him to text and if he doesn’t, he’s not interested. But in reality, you’ve got to remember that you’re both most likely in the same boat here, and he could even be waiting for you to initiate because he’s either too shy and doesn’t know how to approach you, or he’s got that whole ‘don’t want to appear too keen’ persona going on too. (Great minds think alike, huh?!)

The point is, if you’re keen and want to actually get to know this person, you should seize your chance by shooting them a text the next day, or even on the second day if you really feel like the next day is too rushed. A simple text like ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ or something along those lines shows that you are somewhat interested in the person, but at the same time you’re keeping it chilled by providing an easy conversation starter.

The ball is in your court, and you can do whatever you want with it; you don’t have to bother with the whole texting etiquette drama that so many people painfully inflict upon themselves. Simplicity is the key here; so I say go for it, because what have you got to lose?

5 Advantages Of Partying It Up Sober

Posted by Bars And Nightclubs on 30/3/16.

Most people tend to feel their mood sink a little when they decide to stay sober for a night out, either because they’ve been nominated as the designated driver for the night because it’s their turn, or they’ve just decided to stay sober for some reason. Either way, it can suck when you go out and have to stay sober while all your friends drink up and let loose on the dance floor.

But at the same time, there are also advantages to staying sober. It all depends on your perspective, and these five advantages will hopefully help brighten up the prospect of partying it up sober:

1. You Can Save Money
Trust me, as fun as it is to go out and spend a shitload of money on alcohol and drink up, you do feel that crushing feeling in your heart when you check your bank account the next day and realise just how impulsive you were the night before. Were all those $20 ABC shots really necessary? And how on earth did that cab ride cost so much money?! Not to mention you cabbed it to the nightclub AND back home. Wait, wasn’t there some leftover cash in your left pocket? Uh oh, it’s gone now.

Yep, most likely your drunken self either spent that spare cash on alcohol, shouted some random person drinks, or even lost it just because you weren’t in your right mind to take care of yourself, let alone your cash. Staying sober means that you have total control over your actions and can keep an eye on how much you spend. You can also avoid those expensive cab rides by driving there and back instead (if taking the train isn’t an option already). The waiting around for an unoccupied cab isn’t fun either; it’s so much easier when you can just get straight in your car after a big night out and drive home.

2. You Get To Laugh At Everybody’s Drunken Antics
When the world isn’t spinning and you’re not stumbling from the tequila overload, you’d be surprised at how much more you can notice what’s happening around you. Like how your friend attempted that slut drop move, but ended up stacking it on the floor because they’re too drunk to make their way back up. Or how that guy on the podium thinks he’s a total badass despite the cringe-worthy dance moves he’s pulling.

What about that couple making out over at the lounge there? Wait, has she just fallen asleep on him? That’s just tragic. And look at security getting annoyed with that drunken dude trying to get into the VIP restricted area. God he’s persistent. There you go, plenty of entertainment to keep your sober self amused.

3. You Have A Clear Memory
There’s nothing more amusing than being able to recall all these funny moments the next day. The fact that you’re able to remember exactly what happened the night before is a definite bonus. Nobody likes that distressing feeling of trying to fill in the blanks in their memory.

4. You Get To Find Out Some Interesting Truths
Most people tend to spill some pretty fascinating truths when they’re drunk. After all, the social barriers have deteriorated as they’ve kept drinking, so when’s a better time to fess up than when they’re intoxicated? Yes, you do hear some lies here and there, but generally drunk people just blurt out whatever comes to their mind and don’t really care about keeping it all in. Fortunately, you’re sober so you can remember it all clearly the next day. Whether it’s your best friend who’s secretly had a thing for you for while, or they’ve liked your boyfriend/girlfriendinstead – you’ll get to hear it all and decide what you do with the info. The ball is in your court.

5. No Hangover Hell The Next Day
Need I mention how great it is when you wake up the next day feeling perfectly fine? That churning feeling in your stomach and heavy head sensation that you experience when you’re hungover the next day is not a pleasant state to be in. You can make the most of your day too, instead of sleeping in all day till 5pm. See, the benefits of staying sober for a night out are totally worth it. Enjoy!

What Type Of Clubber Are You?

Posted by Bars And Nightclubs on 26/2/16

Whenever I go out to nightclubs, I always notice that there are different types of clubbing personalities out there. People perceive the clubbing scene in different ways; it can all depend on their mood, their personality and what they’re into as well. Here are my four categories of clubbers:

1. Dancing Divas
Most people love going to nightclubs so that they can fire up the dance floor and have a hell of an awesome night. These dancing divas like to ‘move it, move it!’ (Yes, I did just reference that song from the Madagascar movie!) Their dancing skills may or may not be up to standard (you do get the occasional dude doing the underwater move or the chicken dance), but honestly as long they’re having fun, they’re projecting great vibes to other people on the dance floor too. You gotta just let loose and have fun!

2. Daring Drunks
These types of people are all about drinking up until they’re blurting out obscenities and doing bizarre things that they’d never even dreamed of, like attempting to backflip off the podium or something like that. They’re always spotted at the bar, skoaling alcohol like it’s water. For these types, they either go hard or go home – there’s no in between and a vodka lemonade or two just won’t cut it. Think ABC shots…or multiple tequila shots. Yep, they’re a killer.

3. Lazy Loungers
Now we have these cats that like to curl up, relax and watch their surroundings. These lazy loungers like to sit down on whatever looks like a seat (it doesn’t actually have to be a lounge), sip from their drink and just watch what’s happening around them. I mean, there’s nothing like watching other people do random crazy shit and having a laugh about it. You’ll usually notice lazy loungers in groups of three or so, chatting to each other about some spectacle that’s caught their eye. They would most likely be snapchatting it to all their friends as well – I mean, who doesn’t love being entertained?

4. Bathroom Blockers
These people practically live in the nightclub bathroom; but no, it’s not just to use the toilet as you might presume. It’s for girls to either spend a lifetime trying to redo their makeup (I don’t recommend doing this while intoxicated, unless you want to look like the Joker!) or just having a bitch about somebody or something that has just happened in the nightclub. Sometimes it’s people who are waiting in line to use the toilet, and then they start talking to kill time or because they’ve been drinking and they’re suddenly feeling super chatty.

Usually two drunk people having a conversation become best buds within like five minutes; it’s as though they’ve known each other all their lives. That’s the beauty of alcohol – it really does lower social barriers. And where else to have a convo (without loud blaring music to ruin it) than the bathroom, right? The only thing is, these chatty people tend to crowd together and block the way for others who actually need to go to the toilet. Yeah, you all need to scram – Mother Nature is calling!

5 Things You Shouldn’t Let Your Heavily Intoxicated Friend Do

Posted by Bars And Nightclubs on 21/3/16.

Alcohol seriously brings out the good, the bad and the ugly in most of us – we tend to care so much less about what we say and do, since the concept of being ‘socially appropriate’ just deteriorates as we keep drinking. We’re not in proper functioning order, so who cares, right?

Well, trust me, you are most likely going to care the next day when you wake up in some random’s apartment and you have absolutely no idea how you got there. Wait, what was his/her name again? And what the hell even happened? Or maybe you’ll wake up in your own bedroom instead, but you might not be able to remember what exactly happened the night before. If you’re lucky enough, the memories might just come back to you, but then again you never know.

So here are the five things that you shouldn’t let your heavily intoxicated friend do (and they shouldn’t let you do if you’re the smashed one):

1. Order more drinks at the bar
Here’s a warm-up piece of advice: do not let your extremely drunk friend go to the bar and order more drinks. If they are already slurring their words and can barely walk in a straight line, chances are that the next drink you buy them will send them straight into a drunken slumber, and that’s if they don’t throw up all over the place first.

2. Vomit anywhere
This follows up after number 1, don’t let your friend regurgitate the contents of their stomach all over the floor, or all over the guy/girl they’re hooking up with – because first of all, nobody deserves to be showered with somebody else’s vomit, and second of all: security will be on your asses before you can even try to justify what the hell just happened. If your friend starts feeling that terrible sensation of needing to spew, make sure you steer them towards the bathroom, and specifically to the nearest cubicle – not the sink, because the sight and smell of their vomit in the sink won’t be a pretty sight to other people who want to wash their hands after using the toilet.

3. Empty their bladder wherever they feel like it
Once again, this links to the previous point (everything seems to be flowing here!). If your friend needs to go, rush them straight to the bathroom, because you don’t want to explain why they’ve decided to pee all over the dance floor instead. Oh, and that nearby pot plant isn’t an option either.

4. Go to some random’s apartment
Okay, if your friend is blind drunk – and I’m talking to the point where they can barely keep their eyes open and some random guy/girl is escorting them out of the nightclub/bar, you should definitely go after them. Even if your friend might be down for some fun, chances are they don’t even know what they’re agreeing to, and even if they feel like it at the time, they might not even be able to stay conscious throughout the whole encounter. At this point, they can’t make a rational decision, and that’s when you’ve got to make it for them instead. Trust me, your friend will eventually thank you for intervening when you did. That sleazebag can go home alone.

5. Get on the podium
The only thing your smashed friend should be doing is either sitting down and drinking a glass of water, or you should take initiative and haul them out of the nightclub/bar. The last thing they should be doing is attempting to climb onto the podium (if they can even climb on it without falling on their ass), because their sense of balance at this point would be out of whack and they could hurt themselves pretty badly if they fall off the podium while pulling some crazy dance moves.

The best thing you can do for your mate is to direct them to the nearest cab, or if you’re driving, drive them to the nearest Macca’s and get them a cheeseburger (or ten!) – they may feel too sick to eat it at that point, but they will thank you the next day when all that greasy food does its magic in sobering them up. I mean, who doesn’t love a Macca’s meal at the end of a big night?!

What Type Of Clubber Are You?

Posted by Bars And Nightclubs on 26/2/16.

Whenever I go out to nightclubs, I always notice that there are different types of clubbing personalities out there. People perceive the clubbing scene in different ways; it can all depend on their mood, their personality and what they’re into as well. Here are my four categories of clubbers:

1. Dancing Divas
Most people love going to nightclubs so that they can fire up the dance floor and have a hell of an awesome night. These dancing divas like to ‘move it, move it!’ (Yes, I did just reference that song from the Madagascar movie!) Their dancing skills may or may not be up to standard (you do get the occasional dude doing the underwater move or the chicken dance), but honestly as long they’re having fun, they’re projecting great vibes to other people on the dance floor too. You gotta just let loose and have fun!

2. Daring Drunks
These types of people are all about drinking up until they’re blurting out obscenities and doing bizarre things that they’d never even dreamed of, like attempting to backflip off the podium or something like that. They’re always spotted at the bar, skoaling alcohol like it’s water. For these types, they either go hard or go home – there’s no in between and a vodka lemonade or two just won’t cut it. Think ABC shots…or multiple tequila shots. Yep, they’re a killer.

3. Lazy Loungers
Now we have these cats that like to curl up, relax and watch their surroundings. These lazy loungers like to sit down on whatever looks like a seat (it doesn’t actually have to be a lounge), sip from their drink and just watch what’s happening around them. I mean, there’s nothing like watching other people do random crazy shit and having a laugh about it. You’ll usually notice lazy loungers in groups of three or so, chatting to each other about some spectacle that’s caught their eye. They would most likely be snapchatting it to all their friends as well – I mean, who doesn’t love being entertained?

4. Bathroom Blockers
These people practically live in the nightclub bathroom; but no, it’s not just to use the toilet as you might presume. It’s for girls to either spend a lifetime trying to redo their makeup (I don’t recommend doing this while intoxicated, unless you want to look like the Joker!) or just having a bitch about somebody or something that has just happened in the nightclub. Sometimes it’s people who are waiting in line to use the toilet, and then they start talking to kill time or because they’ve been drinking and they’re suddenly feeling super chatty.

Usually two drunk people having a conversation become best buds within like five minutes; it’s as though they’ve known each other all their lives. That’s the beauty of alcohol – it really does lower social barriers. And where else to have a convo (without loud blaring music to ruin it) than the bathroom, right? The only thing is, these chatty people tend to crowd together and block the way for others who actually need to go to the toilet. Yeah, you all need to scram – Mother Nature is calling!